CommenTerry

These 10 Things Would be Absolute Torture for Me

Here are some things that would be absolute torture for me, if I was for forced to do them (with item # 1 being the most torturous):

10) Watch a whole hour of one of those asinine talk shows like those hosted by Jerry Springer, Maury Povich, or Montel Williams.

9) Watch an entire chick flick.

8) Sit through any country music, heavy metal, or rap concert.

7) Drive a small or compact car for any distance more than 100 miles.

6) Go Skiing.

5) Be away from my "creature comforts" for more than 24 hours.

4) Live in any place north of the Mason-Dixon Line.

3) Live anywhere outside the U.S.

2) Be immobilized for a long period of time. For example, having a broken leg. (I've always said that, if I ever broke a leg, they'd have to treat me like a horse).

1) Be married to someone I wasn't in love with.

I'll Put a Stop to That!

Many times in the past, I've been talked out of doing things that I really wanted to do. This occurred because I am not a very strong-willed person and made the mistake of sharing my plans with someone who was strong-willed and who opposed what I wanted to do. I have decided to put my foot down and never let this happen again. From now on, I will not tell anyone about my plans ahead of time!

Not a Source of Pleasure for Me

I've never viewed cars as source of pleasure. All the smiling that goes on in automobile commercials is puzzling to me. To me, the ideal car is one that gets me from point A to point B without causing me any problems. One of my worst fears in life is that my car might break down with me on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Always having a cell phone handy and being a member of AAA helps alleviate that fear just a little.

Driving is not something I ever looked forward to. In fact, I didn't get my driver's license until I was 22. Until then, I looked at driving as an unnecessary evil. However, after getting my first full time job and constantly having to depend on others to get me to and from work, I changed my view of it to being a necessary evil.

A Few of My Favorite Words

People are always listing favorite colors, favorite foods, favorite movies, etc. How about a list of favorite words? Here are a few of mine (limited to adjectives to keep the list from being too long):

Easy

Simple

Peaceful

Serene

Quiet

Convenient

Clean

Calm

Comfortable

Inexpensive

Neat

Delicious

Fragrant

Reassuring

Safe

Pleasurable

Healthy

Guaranteed

Painless

Agreeable

Carefree

Prestigious

Luxurious

Time for a Change?

I've often heard people say that they like to make major changes in their lives just because it's "time for a change." In other words, they are willing to make major life changes just for the sake of change. While I respect their opinions and am not being critical of them, I find major changes in my life to be far too worrisome and/or expensive to be carried out just for the sake of change. In fact, I won't even rearrange my furniture unless I have a compelling reason like being able to gain more floor space. For me to make a significant change in my life, such as buying a new home or car or changing jobs, I would need to be backed into the corner and/or see the change as financially, medically, psychologically, or emotionally expedient.

I bought and moved into a new home last spring after owning my previous home for over 18 years. I wouldn't have done it then if it hadn't been for two factors that drove my decision. First, the neighborhood had significantly started to degrade and I no longer felt comfortable there. Second, the house was starting to need a lot of maintenance and, since I'm not a handyman, it was going to cost me a lot of money. In addition, my new house is 25% larger, has a garage, and therefore provides quite a bit more space for storage.  So, as much as I hate all the hassle of moving, I felt that the move was justified and finally made the decision to get on with it.

In addition, I'm 46 years old and have only owned five automobiles in my entire life. I would surmise that most people (especially men) my age have owned nearly twice that many. I want to hold on to them as long as I can because I dread the task of buying a car. I will only exchange cars when the one I have has gotten to the point where it's costing more to maintain it than what it's worth.

My Own Version of "Man Rules"

We are all familiar with the jokes on TV about "man rules" -- those lists of unwritten rules than men supposedly live by. However, I have personally never bought into most of the items on those lists. But I did have a list of my own that I actually started building when I was a preschooler and lived by for many years. As I got older, I started to recognize them for what they were -- silly -- and left them behind. Anyway, here's my now-defunct list:

1) Never let anyone think they convinced you of something or helped change your mind in any way.

2) Never let anyone see you struggle with anything. It's better not to try than to be seen struggling with anything.

3) Never accept any kind of help from a woman or girl.

4) Never act disappointed, no matter how disappointed you might actually be.

5) Never act as if you've been surprised or caught off guard -- no matter what happens, always act as if you knew all along that it was a definite possibility.

6) Avoid discussing any subject with someone who might happen to know more about it than you.

7) Never tell anyone about something you're planning to do unless you are 100% certain you will succeed. Generally, it's better to wait until after you've already succeeded before telling anyone you even attempted it.

8) Never compete against anyone for anything unless you know you're going to come out on top. If you're not sure, just cede it to them and act as if you didn't want it.

9) Never play any kind of game against anyone who might be able to show you up.

10) Never risk being wrong in public -- only answer questions in a public forum or gathering (e.g., a classroom) when you know you have the right answer.

11) Never risk any kind of rejection -- never ask for anything unless you already know the answer is going to be yes.

12) Avoid anyone who has ever witnessed an incident in which you were embarrassed or humiliated.

They'll Have to Take Me Kicking and Screaming

How often you heard someone say something like, "You might as well go ahead and [fill-in-the-blank] now, since you'll probably be required to later"? Well, I don't buy into this idea of volunteering for the inevitable. For example, I'm not going to volunteer to take that demanding job (which I eventually will have to take) as long as I can hold on to my current job that is comfortable and doesn't require much from me. In addition, I'm not going to start getting crew cuts when my hair starts thinning out. I refuse to age gracefully; I'm going to fight aging every step of the way. When it comes my time to die, I'm not going to jump into my grave and pull the dirt in on top of me. Someone else is going to have to knock me in the head, throw me in the grave, and pour the dirt in on me. I plan to follow Dylan Thomas' advice and "..not go gentle into that good night."

I Prefer Cold, So I'll Take Summer!

I'd rather be too cold than too hot any day, but I like summer better than winter. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but it really isn't. That's because there's more to summer and winter than just hot and cold. Despite summer's heat, I like the long days that season brings. I find the short days of winter quite depressing. Also, the snow and ice storms of winter cause major problems for me. I have great difficulty driving or walking on snow and ice. While there is snow and/or ice on the ground/road, I'm usually stuck in my house, going stir-crazy. I find this much more inconvenient than having to mow the lawn during the summer.

More Trouble Than Their Worth?

Over the years, I have grown to view any material thing in terms of how much trouble or work it might potentially cause for me. I then weigh this factor against the potential amount of pleasure or convenience that item could bring me. I am interested in purchasing or pursuing that item only if the latter greatly outweighs the former. I decide against most things because they just carry too much potential for the former. For example, I decided against buying a refrigerator with a through-the-door ice and water dispenser because I thought about all the water and ice that would be spilled on my kitchen floor. Also, whenever I see a Florida room on TV, I can't help thinking about all the work that goes into keeping all of that glass clean.

Reluctantly Thrown into Battle

I'm the kind of person who mainly likes to stay on the sidelines of life, away from its battles and out of harm's way. Occasionally though, I get picked up by the nape of my neck and the seat of my pants and thrown into one of those little battles. When that happens, I will do whatever fighting is necessary until the battle is over. Then I will crawl back to the sidelines and lick my wounds until the circumstances of life toss me back onto the playing field.