CommenTerry

An Often Overlooked Key to Happiness

When listing their keys to happiness, many people overlook (or take for granted) the concept of good health. Think about it - most of the things listed as being necessary for happiness would not be possible and/or enjoyable without having good health. Therefore, I believe that good health should be at the top of any list of things required for happiness.

Now, I know there are those who claim they can remain content in the midst of pain, suffering, and ill health. I don't doubt their claims at all. However, those people are few and far between. For most of us, it's impossible to he unhealthy and happy at the same. When our health goes, our good times are gone as well.

Time for a Change?

I've often heard people say that they like to make major changes in their lives just because it's "time for a change." In other words, they are willing to make major life changes just for the sake of change. While I respect their opinions and am not being critical of them, I find major changes in my life to be far too worrisome and/or expensive to be carried out just for the sake of change. In fact, I won't even rearrange my furniture unless I have a compelling reason like being able to gain more floor space. For me to make a significant change in my life, such as buying a new home or car or changing jobs, I would need to be backed into the corner and/or see the change as as financially, medically, psychologically, or emotionally expedient.

I bought and moved into a new home last spring after owning my previous home for over 18 years. I wouldn't have done it then if it hadn't been for two factors that drove my decision. First, the neighborhood had significantly started to degrade and I no longer felt comfortable there. Second, the house was starting to need a lot of maintenance and, since I'm not a handyman, it was going to cost me a lot of money. In addition, my new house is 25% larger, has a garage, and therefore provides quite a bit more space for storage.  So, as much as I hate all the hassle of moving,  I felt that the move was justified and finally made the decision to get on with it.

In addition, I'm 47 years old and have only owned five automobiles in my entire life. I would surmise that most people (especially men) my age have owned nearly twice that many. I want to hold on to them as long as I can because I dread the task of buying a car. I will only exchange cars when the one I have has gotten to the point where it's costing more to maintain it than what it's worth.

The Empty Thrill of Ownership

When I was a child, it was always a special thrill to be able to buy a book instead of borrowing it from a library. In fact, ownership of anything made me feel so proud. However, I eventually grew up and got over that sentiment, although I’m amazed at how many of my peers never did get over it. I now look at things from a completely different perspective. Now, I refuse to buy anything, especially books and DVDs, if it’s more practical to rent or borrow them. The way I see things, the more one has, the more one has to worry about – and keep up with.

I can’t understand why people buy music (CDs, downloads, etc) when they can listen to it for free on the radio. I can’t understand why people buy DVDs when they can rent them from Netflix or Blockbuster. I can’t understand why people buy books when they borrow them from a library or even access their contents over the Internet.

Obviously, some things are impractical and/or don’t make good financial sense to rent or borrow. These things would include a house, a vehicle, clothing, tools, furniture, appliances, and other big-ticket items. However, for most of the little things, I’ll avoid ownership whenever possible, thank you.

Don't Count on Me to Be a Crusader

I would never want to let a personal tragedy, illness, or setback become the primary focus of my life. For example, a parent who loses a child to a drunk driver might become a crusader against drunk driving. For those who want to do that, more power to them, but that's not something I would want to do.

Personally, I think it's best to deal with the situation and move on. I'm a cancer survivor, but I rarely ever mention that fact because it's not what I want to be known for and I don't want it to set the agenda for my life. Instead, I prefer that my personal agenda be driven by something of my own choosing, not by some kind of happenstance.

A Partial List of My Pet Peeves

The other day, I saw an article on the Web in which various people listed their pet peeves. That got me thinking about some of my own. Here is a (non-exhaustive) list of them: 

1) People who make unnecessary noise when they walk.

2) People who mispronounce words like nuclear (as “nukular”), jewelry (as “jewlery”), realtor, (as “realator”), chocolate (as “chalkolate”), and focus (as “fokiss”).

3) People who wait for parking spaces even when there are plenty of empty spaces a little further away.

4) People who tailgate on the roads.

5) People who habitually drive more than 10 mph above the posted speed limit.

6) People who run red lights.

7) People who change lanes excessively.

8) People who leave shopping carts in parking lots and refuse to take them to the proper cart returns or back inside the store.

9) People who pull out from intersections at the last second and force me to hit my brakes to avoiding crashing into them.

10) People who can’t seem to wait their turn, especially those who cut into lines.

11) People who use foul language excessively.

12) Parents who can't (or won't) control their small children.

13) People who meddle in the lives of others by constantly offering unsolicited and unwanted advice.

14) People who won't return things to where they found them.

15) People who write articles but don’t really know how to write. They are the kind of folks who are consistently guilty of one or more of the following faux pas: Not knowing which words to capitalize in the title (or in the body of the article, for that matter), lack of proofreading, incoherent rambling, spelling errors, grammatical errors, improper usage, excessive repetition (usually due either to laziness or a limited vocabulary), and poor sentence structure. It irks me to no end to see their articles posted right alongside mine.

Why I Would Never be a Landlord

Some people would have us believe that, with the exception of those who have military careers or vocations that require them to frequently move from place to place, most decent people own their own homes. I don’t subscribe to that point of view. I believe there are many decent people who either cannot afford to own a home or choose not to for whatever reason. These people almost always pay their rent on time. On those rare occasions when they cannot -- due to reasons beyond their control -- they will contact their landlord before the rent comes due. At that time, they will explain their dilemma and negotiate a grace period.

Unfortunately, however, a significant portion of modern renters consists of deadbeats and lowlifes. These are people who do not take their rightful obligations seriously and always have to be coerced into paying up. They avoid those to whom they owe money, hoping they will ultimately not have to make good on their debts. When finally tracked down, they will ask that their landlord “come back next week after I get paid,” even when the rent is owed this week. That’s why I would never be a landlord. I don’t need that kind of grief.

So You Think Torture Doesn't Work?

They say torture, as a tactic of war, doesn't work. I wonder about that. All someone would have to do is threaten me with torture and I would tell them anything they wanted to hear, whether it was true or not. Heck, I'd even confess to the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, if that's what my potential torturers wanted!

The More You Have, the More You Have to Pull Maintenance On

As I've mentioned before, I don't like to collect a lot of material assets. I'm not fond of owning baubles and I've never owned more than one car or house at a time. I own only the minimum amount of hard assets that I need and/or will use on a regular basis. The reason is simple. I hate doing (or paying for) maintenance. As soon as you buy any hard asset, it begins to need maintenance. The more of them you have, the more of them you have to pull maintenance on. 

I prefer liquid assets and services. No bank account, stock, or mutual fund I've owned has ever broken down or required me to perform any kind of maintenance on it. I also prefer purchasing services to purchasing things. As is the case with liquid assets, I've never had to pull maintenance on any service I've ever bought.

Group Punishment Is Bad Punishment

Recently, 15 Penn State football players got into a brawl, resulting in six of them being arrested. Then team's iconic coach, Joe Paterno, responded to the incident by requiring the entire team to clean up the stands at 107,000-seat Beaver Stadium the Sunday morning after each Saturday home game during the upcoming season. His rationale is that the fight was partially due to a failure of leadership on the part of every player who didn't participate in it but allowed it to happen.

Conservative columnist and law professor Walter Williams also seems to subscribe to this kind of foolishness, based on something he revealed in a recent column. Williams stated that, when a student's cell phone goes off in his classroom, he punishes not only that student (with a five percent semester point penalty), but also the student to his left and to his right with the same penalty. Williams says this is very effective in stopping cell phones from ringing in his classroom.

I must say that I'm very disappointed with both Paterno and Williams. One can argue the necessity for leadership until he turns blue in the face, but it won't change the fact that punishing an entire group or subset thereof for something that only a few, or perhaps one, of them did is inherently unfair. Yes, it gets the point across quite effectively, but that doesn't make it right. Pointing a gun at someone's head would also be a very effective means of convincing them to do something as well, but should we endorse that kind of tactic?

Not only is such punishment unfair, but it also creates a logical imbroglio for the one who imposes it. Using the Penn State situation as an example, what would Paterno have done if one of the players not involved in the fight had stood up to him and said he was not going to show up on Sunday mornings at Beaver Stadium this season? Would he have singled out that player for additional punishment or would he have imposed more punishment on the entire team for their "lack of leadership" in not convincing that dissenter to get with the program? If he chose the former, would he not have to explain away his inconsistency?

Know Your Weaknesses

It's generally a good idea to know your own weaknesses and mitigate accordingly. For example, I don't do well when I'm being hurried or rushed. Therefore, one of the many things I do to mitigate this problem is to write my checks for groceries ahead of time, filling in everything but the price. That way, when I go to the grocery store, writing a check is one less thing I have to hurry up and do when I go through the line.