CommenTerry

The Pain of Being Taken Away from Something Interesting

It’s been happening to me since I was a child. I’ll be fully enthralled in something that is very interesting to me when I am abruptly pulled away from it to something that is not nearly as much fun. When was growing up, that fate often came my way in the form of being called home from a game of softball, basketball, or football by my parents, often because it was time to eat a meal or because it was getting too dark outside. At other times, I would be told “don’t get too comfortable” doing such and such because certain chores were beckoning. It was always something.

However, I thought this would all come to end, once I became an adult. After all, adults are free to do whatever they, whenever they want, and as much of it was they want. Wrong answer! Now it’s often my boss who will often pull me away from some exciting task to work on one that I don’t like so much, because it’s more important at the time.

And it’s not just my boss. Sometimes one of my coworkers will come by my desk to ask me to help them with something. At home, when I might be doing something fun, someone will call or come by, taking me away from what I was doing. After they are done with me, I can never quote seem to get back to where I left off.

A lot the time, it’s just circumstances that force me away from something I’d really rather stay with. No matter how interesting something I’ve found on TV or the Internet might be, I’ll frequently have to force myself away from it to go to work, be on time for an appointment, or simply get to bed at a decent hour.

Yes, it really hurts to suddenly be snatched away from something interesting. The agony of defeat couldn’t possibly be any worse than that.

My Tendency to Focus on the Negative

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m one of those people who always sees the glass as half empty. Yes, it’s true. When I got my annual pay increase at work the other day, all I could think about was how many bites the various taxes were going to get out of that apple. I could never survive the ownership of a new car. If ever bought one, I would be constantly thinking about how quickly it is depreciating in value.

When I get a holiday or vacation, I have difficulty enjoying it due to the fact I tend to focus on how soon it will be coming to an end. When I was a kid and my brothers and I would be engaging any kind of activity that was forbidden by our parents, my brothers would enjoy it for all it was worth. Not me. I couldn’t because I would be thinking about what was going to happen when our parents found out about it.

But this mindset isn’t all bad. It does set me up for some pleasant surprises once in a while.

The Ideal “Don’t Care” Life

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I believe one of the most underrated luxuries is to be able to say “I don’t care” and really mean it. That doesn’t and shouldn’t imply that one should be selfish and uncaring in regard to others. What it does mean that the primary benefit of having wealth should not be about the accumulation of things. That would create more stress on almost anyone. Instead, just the opposite should be true, i.e., wealth should free a person up from the stress of having to worry about so many things.

When I go the grocery store, I shop for bargains. I keep track of how much every item costs. In order to make my money go further, I will sometimes settle for a less expensive item when I really want a more expensive item. And when I can’t find any bargains, I will often buy fewer items. I do this because I do not have an unlimited supply of money. I have to face the reality of opportunity costs. Every dollar that I spend today is a dollar I will not be able to save for a rainy day, and vice versa. And every dollar I spend on thing is a dollar I won’t be able to spend on something else. It’s up to me to decide.

I have to make similar decisions on a daily basis. Do a replace my car yet or keep maintaining my old one? How much does it make sense to spend on maintaining my car? Should I buy any new furniture or appliances now or should I squeeze a few more years out of the stuff I already have? Should I make any improvements to my home now or wait until it starts falling apart? Or I should I just upgrade to a nicer one, which would mean a high mortgage payment and less discretionary income? These kinds of decisions are a major source of stress for me.

But if I had a virtually unlimited supply of money, like a truly wealthy person would, I wouldn’t have to make any of those decisions. Actually, I would still probably end up having to make decisions about money, but I wouldn’t care, so I wouldn’t stress out about them.

When I went to the grocery store (or hired someone to do my shopping for me), I would just buy anything I wanted without regard to price. I would replace my car with a new one of my choice, again without regard to price, whenever it encountered the first problem. I would buy the most expense home that I would be comfortable in and furnish it without but the highest quality furniture and appliances. And then I would get a makeover for it as soon as it began to show any signs of deterioration. I could also replace any piece of furniture upon the first observable evidence of ware or any appliance at the first indication of any trouble.

In my opinion, that would be the ideal “don’t care” kind of life.

Four More Ways to Frustrate a Critic

In an earlier article, I discussed the concept of frustrating critics by sarcastically agreeing with them. I will now present four more effective ways of exasperating a critic or anyone who tries to pick an argument with you.

The first of these methods is to pretend that you think the person agrees with you. You could constantly respond to them with answers like “I’m glad you agree with me” or “Thanks for seeing things my way.” This kind of thing is extremely frustrating to someone who is argumentative, and more than likely, it will prompt them to move on to someone else to pick a fight with.

The second method is to pretend that you can’t ever remember the point that they are trying to make with their argument. For example, let’s say someone is trying to convince you that your favorite politician is no good because that politician is adulterer. You could respond by continuously revolving back to the question, “But I still can’t figure out why you don’t like [fill-in-the-blank].” Yes, they’ll probably write you off as either stupid or immoral, but they will also soon arrive at the conclusion that arguing with you is a complete waste of time.

The third method is what I refer to as filibustering. Hey, it’s good enough for the U.S. Senate, and I believe it’s an effective tool to use against someone who is arguing with you. In the middle of the argument, you could just starting start rambling on and on about some irrelevant topic. For example, if the other person mentioned something about a car, you could start reminiscing about your first car – and include every detail from the time you bought it until the time you got rid of it.

The fourth and final method is to use dismissive phrases to give your opponent the impression that you really don’t take them or their argument very seriously. For example, you could use responses like “Hey, was it something I said?” or “Don’t get mad, get glad.” This is probably the most extreme of the four, so I wouldn’t use it unless the other person was getting really nasty or abusive with their argument.

Appalling Civil War Analogy Ruins Writer’s Point

The other day, I read a letter to the editor that made me extremely angry. In fact, it teed me off more any such letter I’ve read in the last several years. The strange part is that I actually agreed the overall point that the writer was trying to make. He just screwed the whole thing up with the analogy he used.

The point of his letter was that people’s sins will eventually find them out. You can try to run from them all you want, but you can’t hide, as they will ultimately catch up with you. This is a biblical concept with which I completely agree.

My peeve with his letter is that he used an innocent person as his example. He cited Wilmer McLean, who was a plantation owner in Virginia during the time of the Civil War. At Manassas Junction, the site of the first major battle of that war, Confederate General P.G.T Beauregard selected McLean’s Yorkshire Plantation for his headquarters. During that battle, a cannonball fell through McLean’s chimney, into his fireplace.

Shortly after that battle, McLean decided to move his family 120 miles farther south to escape the effects of the ongoing conflict. He selected a place called Appomattox Court House. As we all know from history, this is the place where Lee surrendered to Grant to end the war. What most of us probably didn’t know is that Wilmer McLean’s home was chosen as the place for Lee and Grant to meet and conduct the official ceremony.

When the meeting was concluded and the all the documents been signed, Union officers began to pick up and take away various pieces of Mr. McLean’s furniture for souvenirs. Although they left money in exchange for these items, they took them over his objections. Some of the furnishings taken were irreplaceable family heirlooms, more than likely. McLean had been victimized for the second time by that awful war.

As the writer pointed out, McLean tried to get away from that war, but was ultimately unable to. But that’s an enormously unsuitable analogy for the concept of one not being able to escape their sins. McLean was an innocent victim who did nothing wrong. The wrongdoers were General Beauregard for illegally taking control of McLean’s Manassas residence, and the Union officers for confiscating his furniture at his home at Appomattox Court House. Those people should have been court-martialed for their crimes.

A much more applicable Civil War example of one’s sins finding them out would have been President Abraham Lincoln, who sinned against God and his countrymen by thumbing his nose at the Constitution and suspending its habeas corpus protections. His sins caught up with him at little place called Ford’s Theater.

Thank God for Small Bragging Rights

I have never accomplished anything truly spectacular, amazing, or impressive (and probably never will), so I have to rely on the kinds of achievements that give me some small bragging rights. Listed below are a few examples of what I’m talking about.

I have never run a marathon or won any kind of athletic event, but I do climb two long flights of stairs each day at the office. Many of my co-workers, including some that are younger than I, opt to take the elevator instead. I’m not interested in joining a health club or practicing any kind of workout routine, but I always try to work at least mile’s worth of walking into my everyday activities.

I have never been much of scholar – mainly because I’ve never really been interested in reading or studying – but I did finish in the top 10% of my high school graduation class, and graduated magna cum laude from my local community college. I also tend to be among the top students in most work-related classes that I get sent to.

I have never been fortunate enough to have any of my writing (other than letters to the editor) officially published, but I have written hundreds of articles for the Internet and have been continuously blogging for nearly seven years. I write in complete, comprehensible sentences and generally use proper grammar and spelling (sadly, that is becoming more and more of a lost art). And I never have trouble writing an article or blog post whenever I want to.

I have never been rich, but I’ve also never been in any kind of serious debt either. The only debt I currently owe is my mortgage, and I could pay that off anytime I chose to. I have a credit rating that is second to none, and I could pretty much get any credit card or loan that I wanted. In addition, I’ve paid cash for each of the last two automobiles that I have purchased.

I’ll never be a Jeopardy! champion, but I will humbly surmise that I’ve probably forgotten more trivia than most people will ever know, especially in the area of sports and politics.

I have never been recognized as a model citizen or pillar of my community (and never expect to be), but I’ve also never been in any kind of trouble with the law. I’ve also never used alcohol, cigarettes, or any kind of illicit drug. And, of course, I haven’t had to worry about addictions or substance abuse. I’ve been a Christian and regular weekly attendee of my church for more than 40 years.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not taking full credit for any of this stuff. I am grateful to God that He gives me the strength and ability to accomplish anything at all, and to serve Him and much as I am able and willing to.

Five Things I Wouldn’t Want to Know

While I’ve always had a thirst for knowledge, there a least five types of things I just wouldn’t want to know. Here they are:

1) When and how I am going to die. If I knew that information, I would be so fixated on it that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else. I wouldn’t be able to function normally.

2) When the end of the world was coming. Ditto my rationale in item 1.

3) News about another person’s good fortune in an area in which I have never had any luck. I know what the Bible says about rejoicing with those who rejoice, but I’d rather not know about something that might cause me to be jealous, envious, or resentful of another person.

4) The identity of someone receiving an organ transplant that was harvested from a dead relative’s body. A lot of people would want to know this, but not me. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing a stranger walking around alive thanks in part to the fact that someone dear to me died.

5) My shortcomings. Of course, most of my flaws are obvious to me and everyone who’s been around me for very long. I’m talking about the ones that are less obvious. I’d rather not have them made known to me. Chances are, they would be things that I would either be unable or unwilling to do anything about, so telling me about them would do nothing more than harm my ego.

Another Fudge Situation

The other day, as I was reading my copy of the local newspaper, I came across the before-and-after pictures of a rather famous young lady who had recently had some plastic surgery. I’m not going to reveal her name here because it would be a distraction to the point I’m trying to make, but most people would instantly recognize her. Anyway, the pictures, for some strange reason, where juxtaposed from the way they are normally presented, with the “after” photo on the left and the “before” photo the right.

As I studied the photos, I decided that I liked the one on the right better, mistaking it for the “after” photo. I then went over the desk of one of my coworkers and announced my decision to him. Instinctively knowing which picture was which (actually, he had read the accompanying article, which I hadn’t), he pointed to the one on the left and said, “I do, too.”

Yes, thinking the “before” photo was the “after” photo, I had mistakenly told him that I liked the “after” photo better when I actually liked the “before” photo the best. I call that a “fudge” situation. That’s when you state your preference for item A when you really prefer item B, because you think A is really B and B is really A. Therefore, you do not get the desired results. In the case of the photos, I wanted to find out if my coworker liked the same the same photo I liked, but inadvertently tricked him into thinking we liked the same photo.

I call this a “fudge” situation because of an incident from my childhood that I will always remember. When I was about three or four years old, my mother was going to the store and offered to buy me and my brother a Popsicle. Apparently, that small store only carried two flavors of Popsicles, orange and fudge. She asked each of us if we wanted the fudge. Unfortunately, I had never heard the term “fudge” before.

I knew the store had a brown, chocolatey kind, and that’s the one I wanted. Thinking “fudge” was probably a synonym for orange, I told my mother that I did not want the fudge. When mother came home and presented me with an orange Popsicle, I proceeded to have the kind of temper tantrum that is quite common for three and four-your-old children. As a result, I got a spanking on top of not getting the kind of Popsicle I wanted, all for not understanding what the word “fudge” meant.

One Reason Why Kids Are Happier Than Adults

For a long time, I’ve been interested in trying to figure out why children are generally happier than adults. One of the major reasons is that children, especially younger ones, do not care what other people think of them. They do whatever they want – run, play, sing, jump, cry, etc. – without a thought as to what someone else may think about it. Maybe they know something that we adults don’t.

Are You Inconsiderate at the Gas Pump?

Among my pet peeves is the practice that some drivers have of stopping at the first gas pump on their left or right when the one directly in front of them is open. I believe this is very inconsiderate, especially when there is someone behind them. What’s so hard about just continuing on up to that next one? It makes things easier on everyone. The driver moving up to the next pump instead of stopping at the first one no longer has to worry about backing up when they get done. Any driver who might be behind them doesn’t have to go around them to get the gas pump in front. It’s win-win situation, yet there are drivers who seem completely oblivious to it.