CommenTerry

Lead Us Not into Excess

Many experts agree that a huge source of discontent in our modern western world is our tendency toward excess. Somewhere along the way, perhaps during the 1950’s or 1960’s, we decided that moderate amounts any good thing were not enough. Although previous generations had warned us that we could indeed get too much of a good thing, we didn’t believe it. We just had to have more, and it had to be bigger and better.

We began to think like this: If owning one car makes us feel satisfied, then owning two cars will make us even more satisfied. But what we should have discovered by now is that this is just not true. Almost any good thing will quickly reach a point of diminishing returns. Once we get the extra portion that we thought would bring us some fleeting notion of happiness, we almost immediately start craving more of the same and/or something else. You name it -- money, cars, TVs, square feet of living space, vacation homes, leisure time, computers, gadgets, nice clothes, quantities and varieties of food -- most of us have more of it than ever before. Yet very few of us seem to be as happy as were before we had so much.

But not only do we fail to find happiness in owning more, the excess often detracts from our quality of life. Like the old saying goes, the more you have, the more you have to worry about. Think of the things that concern you on a daily basis. While they may include health and family issues, you’ll probably find that a number of them are concerns about things you own.

There are many theories -- some religious, some secular -- about how to find true happiness and contentment. While these theories vary wildly, very few of them include the accumulating of possessions in their formula. Whatever the path you choose, giving up the desire to always have more, along with possibly purging some of the stuff you already have, is likely a good first step.

What Makes Us Worry?

Have you every wondered what makes us worry? I can't speak for anyone else, but there are four major root causes for all my worrying. If I could just make these things go away, I'm sure I would never worry again.

The first concept is cost. I often worry about how much something is going to cost me. I'm often afraid that I'm going to pay too much for it. Many times, I want certain things, but I don't want to pay anything at all for them. If everything were free, that portion of my worrying would disappear.

The second concept is consequences. That are many things I would like to do, but I'm too worried about the possible consequences to ever give them a try. I also worry about the consequences of things that I have no control over. For example, backed up traffic might cause me to be late for work, so I worry about the consequences of that. If there was no such thing as consequences, that portion of my worrying would be over.

The third concept is responsibility. I worry because I'm responsible for various things. I am expected to take care of certain things and make sure certain tasks are done. If I fail to live up my responsibilities, that will reflect negatively on me. If there was no such thing as responsibility or if I could always dump mine on someone else, I would worry a lot less. 

The fourth concept is limitations. My time, money, energy, etc. are limited. I only have so much of each to go around. Therefore, I worry about how I'm going to ration them and use them wisely. I'm always afraid they will run out and/or I won't have enough. If I had unlimited amounts of all those things, my worrying about them would almost certainly cease.

What are the root causes of your worries? How do they match up to my list?

Opportunity vs. Initiative

There's seems to some confusion in our modern society about whose fault it is when various individuals and groups fail to reach their potential. In order to flourish, people need opportunities to do so. They should not be denied these opportunities, nor should they be artificially held back.

However, once given an opportunity, it is up to an individual or group to take the initiative and make the best of it. If they fail to do so, they forfeit their right to complain, and have no one to blame but themselves. If I fail to give you an opportunity, it's my fault; if you fail to take advantage of an opportunity I give you, it's your fault. If I open a door for you, it is not my responsibility to browbeat you and attempt to compel you to come in. Unfortunately, we have too many people nowadays who constantly make excuses for those who fail to take advantage of their opportunities. Instead, they blame the opportunity providers for not making those opportunities enticing or attractive enough.

Recently, a frustrated school teacher wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper. She complained about how she and other teachers were being blamed for some of their students' poor grades and lack of achievement in the classroom. This was in spite of the fact that she works overtime preparing lesson plans for these students, who won't show up at school half the time. When do they do show up, they disrupt the class and never complete any of the assignments that are required of them.   

When are we going to return to the time when we put the blame for this kind of thing in its proper place? Until we do, we will continue to produce an overabundance of lackeys and underachievers who are more than willing to point the finger of blame at someone else for their pathetic condition. 

How to Get Rich in America

In time past, people became rich by becoming entrepreneurs, making important discoveries, inventing useful gadgets, making significant contributions to the good of society, or simply working hard and saving. But in 21st century America, it's no longer a requirement to earn one's way to wealth, as people have found short cuts to big profits and more dubious methods of acquiring monetary gain. Here are just a few of today's alternative paths to riches:

(1) Get your feelings hurt by something someone said. Then sue them and/or write a book about your horrifying experience of humiliation and degradation.

(2) Do something extremely stupid that causes you injury or serious illness, but not death. Then sue whoever allowed you to do it or didn't come to your aid quickly enough.

(3) Be the spouse, child, parent, or sibling of someone who did something extremely stupid and didn't survive it. Then sue whoever allowed your loved one to do it or didn't come to their aid quickly enough.

(4) Be a victim of some kind of high-profile calamity (natural or manmade) and survive it. First, have the government compensate you handsomely for your pain and suffering. Then sue whomever was responsible for it, allowed it to happen, and/or did not provide relief quickly enough.

(5) Be the spouse, child, parent, or sibling of a victim of some kind of high-profile calamity (natural or manmade) who didn't survive it. First, have the government compensate you handsomely for the loss of your loved one. Then sue whomever was responsible for it, allowed it to happen, and/or did not provide relief quickly enough.

(6) Be a marginally talented singer and get discovered by some TV "talent search" show and get signed to a recording contract.

(7) Be a marginally talented baseball, football, or basketball player. Sign a Major League, NFL, or NBA contract and remain on a team's roster (you don't even have to play) for at least one year.

(8) Be lucky enough to be born to wealthy parents who will be willing to lavish all of their riches upon you for nothing more than the simple fact that you are their son or daughter.

(9) Become a victim of some great injustice (real or imaginary). Then demand justice in the form of financial compensation from the government and whomever propagated it (if they are not one in the same).

(10)  Be the spouse, child, parent, or sibling of a deceased victim of some great injustice (real or imaginary). Then demand justice on behalf of your loved one in the form of financial compensation (for yourself) from the government and whomever propagated it (if they are not one in the same).

(11) Claim you have some kind of supernatural power and con enough people into believing you and handing you huge sums of money to fool them over and over again.

(12) Sell the public on some kind of fad diet, snake oil health product, step-by-step plan to overcome an addiction, or easy path to wealth.

(13) Become a TV preacher and/or pastor of a mega-church.

(14) Marry some rich old man or woman and then hang around long enough until he or she dies and leaves you all their money.

(15) Be the victim of some wealthy person's mistake, carelessness, or recklessness and then sue them for everything they have.

(16) Win the Mega Millions or Power Ball lottery.

Some Ways to Frustrate Nuisance Callers

You have just sat down to dinner or to watch your favorite TV program when you are interrupted by a phone call from someone who is trying to interest you in a trial subscription to a credit card protection plan. From time to time, we all get bothered by telemarketers, solicitors for certain questionable "charitable" organizations, people conducting trivial surveys, and other nuisance callers who just can't take no for an answer. Over the years, I've come up with few ways to turn the tables of frustration on them and have a little fun at their expense. Here are some of the techniques I've used:

1) Pretend to be trying to convert them to your religion. Very few things freak people out more than a religious fanatic or a proselytizer.

2) Start going on and on about some weird conspiracy theory and then ask them if they agree with your point of view.

3) Pretend you think they are really your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, bother, sister, mother, father, daughter, son, etc. who is trying to play a trick on you. For example, you could say something like, "Come one, honey, stop the kidding around. I know it's you. I would recognize your voice anywhere. You can't fool me."

4) Tell them you are not interested because you will soon be returning to your native planet -- for good!

5) Ask them where they are calling from and then starting talking incessantly about some professional or college sports team from that area, without letting them get a word in edgewise. For example, if they said they were calling from Los Angeles, you might start with, "I think the Dodgers are going to win the World Series this year. They made some great trades during the off-season ..."

6) Ask them where they are calling from and then ask if they know such-and-such a person who lives in that area. But before giving them a chance to answer, begin rattling off various anecdotes from that person's life, from their childhood days all way through today.

7) Ask their name and then insist that they are a long lost friend or acquaintance of yours -- who still owes you some money! Continue to insist that you know them and that they owe you the money, in spite of everything they might say to try to refute it.

8) Begin giving them a long-winded political speech for some candidate or cause. Be careful not to do anything illegal like soliciting funds or impersonating an actual candidate.

9) Ask their name and then pretend to think they said they are some celebrity like Tom Cruise. Then start saying stuff like, "Oh Mr. Cruise, this is such an honor! I've seen all your movies. You are so talented. How are Katie and the baby doing? ..."

10) Pretend you are a very lonely person and that this is the first phone call you've gotten in over a month. Tell the caller you are so grateful for someone who is willing be a listening ear and then start making up various personal problems to tell them about -- in gory detail.

11) Act as if you have a terrible memory with almost no ability to retain anything the caller says. Repeat phrases like "now what did you say you wanted?" and "I'm sorry, but tell me your name again." You could even pretend to think that you are the one who made the call and then tell the caller you forgot your original purpose for calling him or her. 

12) Feign a hearing problem and make the caller repeat everything he or she says -- at least three times! Constantly remind the caller about the necessity to "speak up."

13) Tell them that no soliciting is allowed on this phone and that they will need to call you back on your other line. Then, if they ask you for the number for that phone, tell them it is unlisted and that you can't give them the number over this phone because it is a non-secure line. Offer to give them the number the next time you see them in person.

Who's to Blame for the Subprime Meltdown?

The subprime meltdown has begun. Hundreds of mortgage companies around the country are going bankrupt. Thousands of people are having their mortgages foreclosed and are being thrown out of their homes. But who's responsible for this mess?

Obviously, greedy and unethical mortgage companies should shoulder most of the blame. In their uncontrollable lust for the almighty dollar, they made home loans available to people who would not have qualified, had they used the rules everyone played by in the past. Yet they went ahead and loaned the money to these people with questionable credit in order to command higher interest rates. Now the whole thing has blown up in their faces. They got their just desserts.

However, the borrowers have to share some of the blame. They knew their own credit histories and bill-paying habits better than anyone else did but still sought home loans that they knew would be a hardship for them to pay back. Rather than waiting to save a little money for a larger down payment, and thereby avoiding expensive private mortgage insurance as well as possibly getting a lower rate, they had to have it all now. They couldn't wait. Their impatience drove them to push the financial envelope and it ultimately burst wide open.

Everyone involved in this debacle should hang their heads in shame!

Why Be Envious of Anyone?

When you really stop to think about it, does it ever make sense to be envious of someone else? It think the only logical answer is no.

To begin with, we can only see part of what's going on in someone's life at any given time. We may see the good things that are happening to them as well as all the stuff they might have, but we have no way to feel what they feel or know about their potential pain. We also might be so focused on the positive things in their life that we might miss or ignore the negative things, which may be far more numerous.

In addition, we don't know what those "positive" things may have cost them or what they have had to endure in order to keep them. It might be a price that we would never be willing to pay. For example, we might be tempted to be envious of someone who lives in an expensive home and owns expensive automobiles. However, would we also want to be so deep in debt that we have to worry about where our next meal is going to come from, as is often the case for them?

Also, just because a person seems to be doing well now, doesn't mean it has always been that way for them. For all we might know, most of their life up to that point could have been a miserable existence - a life that could we could not have tolerated.

Those are just a few things to consider the next time you are tempted to be envious of someone.

My TV Viewing as a Kid

During my preschool/elementary school days of the mid-to-late 1960's, my favorite TV shows were Batman, Lost in Space, Wild Wild West, The Red Skelton Show, and Bewitched. As I recall, my bother (who is just 11 months younger that I) seemed to like the same shows. My parents weren't big TV watchers at that time (they really didn't get into the whole TV thing until about a decade later), so they pretty much let us watch what we wanted. Back then, they didn't have to worry about the kind of inappropriate stuff that parents have to be concerned about now.

My brother and I were quite obsessed about regularly watching these shows. One Friday night, when my father was working the four-to-midnight shift at the plant, Wild Wild West was pre-empted by a special program. I was okay with it, but my brother went nuts! After having a temper tantrum (which included beating his head against the floor), he asked my mother for the phone number at the plant where my dad worked. When she asked him why, he said he was going to tell him to go down to the TV studio and shoot the station manager for allowing his favorite show to be taken away that night!

Speaking of preemptions, they used to pull this trick on The Red Skelton Show that always irked my brother and me. When it was time for the show to come on, an announcer would say, "The Red Skelton Shelton Show will not be seen tonight so that we may bring you a special episode of ... The Red Skelton Show!

Neither of us realized at the time that Batman was actually a comedy. We took it very seriously and were often scared to look during some of the sequences when the villain was about do Batman and Robin in. We also found Lost in Space a bit too scary and intense at that time.

I hated the way the Wednesday night episode of Batman always left us hanging until the Thursday night episode. I didn't understand why they couldn't (just once, anyway) resolve everything on Wednesday night. But I guess that woud have meant no Thursday night episode. I remember Lost in Space also pulling a regular "to be continued" stunt. Instead of showing some previews of next week's episode (like most other shows did), it would actually start the next week week's episode at the end of the current week's program and leave us with a cliff-hanger.

The main reason I liked Bewitched is because I had a crush on Elizabeth Montgomery, who played Samantha. I remember my brother and I getting into this big debate about who played Serena, Samantha's cousin on the show. I contended that she was also played by Elizabeth Montgomery, only in a black wig and trashier outfits. My brother, however, insisted that she was played by a different actress. He even claimed he had seen the actress' name listed in the closing credits. Of course, he never really did, because I was right -- as usual.

Building a Health Firewall

None of us can fully protect ourselves from all the possible bad things that could befall us. That's just a sad fact of life. However, we can build personal firewalls to greatly reduce the risk of being hit by some things and delay others for as long as possible.

The risk of serious illness can often be diminished and death can often be delayed by building the firewall of good heath habits. This firewall consists of (but is certainly not limited to) eating right/getting proper nutrition; seeing your doctor and dentist regularly; getting recommended vaccinations (like the flu shot); having various checkups and diagnostic tests at recommended intervals; drinking plenty of water; getting enough sleep; avoiding excessive stress; abstaining from illicit drugs, smoking, and excessive alcohol use; managing your weight, sugars levels, blood pressure, and cholesterol; taking vitamins and supplements as recommended by your doctor; and exercising regularly.

Sometimes, no matter what people do or how they live, they are going to suffer serious illnesses and/or die at an early age. Others can do pretty much anything they want and still enjoy good health and a long life. In most cases, however, one's health and lifespan have a direct correlation to his or her lifestyle and personal choices. So why not build the firewall of good health habits to tilt the odds in your favor when it comes to protecting the most valuable thing you will ever have?

How Does God Forgive?

Many of my fellow Christians believe that God forgives -- but only when one is sincerely sorry for his or her transgressions and subsequently asks for forgiveness. Now, that kind of thinking sounds biblical and I know this doctrine is continually preached from pulpits all across the U.S. and the world. But is it accurate?

I used to believe it was, but now I'm not so sure. I began to question this belief after I started to seriously analyze something else the Bible teaches about forgiveness. Jesus said that we (humans) are to forgive each other, period. When someone wrongs us, we are to forgive them -- no questions asked. Jesus said nothing about waiting for them to express any kind of sorrow for what they did or to ask us for our forgiveness. 

Now, if we, as humans, are expected to forgive each other in this kind of unconditional fashion, should we expect any less from God? Is God a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do kind of Being? Are we expected to be more forgiving than Him? If anyone or anything could out-forgive Him, how could He remain God?  We should think carefully before trying to place limits on God's forgiveness.