My Own Version of "Man Rules"

We are all familiar with the jokes on TV about "man rules" -- those lists of unwritten rules than men supposedly live by. However, I have personally never bought into most of the items on those lists. But I did have a list of my own that I actually started building when I was a preschooler and lived by for many years. As I got older, I started to recognize them for what they were -- silly -- and left them behind. Anyway, here's my now-defunct list:

1) Never let anyone think they convinced you of something or helped change your mind in any way.

2) Never let anyone see you struggle with anything. It's better not to try than to be seen struggling with anything.

3) Never accept any kind of help from a woman or girl.

4) Never act disappointed, no matter how disappointed you might actually be.

5) Never act as if you've been surprised or caught off guard -- no matter what happens, always act as if you knew all along that it was a definite possibility.

6) Avoid discussing any subject with someone who might happen to know more about it than you.

7) Never tell anyone about something you're planning to do unless you are 100% certain you will succeed. Generally, it's better to wait until after you've already succeeded before telling anyone you even attempted it.

8) Never compete against anyone for anything unless you know you're going to come out on top. If you're not sure, just cede it to them and act as if you didn't want it.

9) Never play any kind of game against anyone who might be able to show you up.

10) Never risk being wrong in public -- only answer questions in a public forum or gathering (e.g., a classroom) when you know you have the right answer.

11) Never risk any kind of rejection -- never ask for anything unless you already know the answer is going to be yes.

12) Avoid anyone who has ever witnessed an incident in which you were embarrassed or humiliated.